I went to a job the other day that made me remember a story. When I was in third grade I got invited to my first non-family birthday party for a kid I didn't particularly like. The best part was that it was a drive-in movie/ sleepover party. I was willing to suck up a little personal animosity in deference to the first exciting friend party I had ever been invited to. I went to the kid's house at about 6 and in the basically lawless and safety oblivious 80's we all piled into the back of his dad's pickup truck and rode the 15 miles to the drive-in. I say his dad was not at all concerned with safety but that is not actually true he did tell us to sit flat on our butts in the bed or he would put his boot up our butts. For ostensibly heterosexual manly men these hillbilly types spend a inordinate amount of time threatening to insert objects violently into someone's rectum. Probably nothing to that, forget I wrote that. Anyway I was in the bed of a truck with some popcorn watching Karate Kid Two which has one of the best opening scenes ever in film as far as third grade boys were concerned. Behold:
If it is not abundantly self evident I will tell you what is cool about this scene. John Kreese of the Cobra Kai Dojo is awesomely douchey. "Second place is no place" is still my favorite thing to say when someone gets second place. If taking a teenager down a peg for losing, then breaking his trophy and chocking him has got to be one of the all time best motivational techniques. The second best part is that Mr. Miyagi bests that A-wipe without touching him and then when the defeated man begs for death he is denied the glory of death in battle and has his nose honked instead. We repeated that joke all night and all the next while. We stayed up late fooling around and then it was time for the PJ's and to my shame I had no cartoon character themed jam-jams like the other kids. They were al shocked that I was going to climb into my sleeping bag with just my clothes on like some kind of barbarian. I was so shamed that I was about to cry so I faked asleep and laid still so that they wouldn't mention my lack of officially licensed sleepwear. In the morning I woke up early and left before there could be any talk about me wearing the same clothes for two days. It was still worthwhile though I mean I did get to see an awesome quasi-martial arts movie with a really funny scene that I got to tell my brother about.