What we did end up doing that night was hanging out with the cool kids. My cousin was in the in crowd and I had always been on the outside imagining that the beautiful children of the beautiful people having amazing adventures while excluding me and the other roustabouts. I popped on my best looking clothes and prepared for a night in the hidden enclaves of the local high school royalty. It turned out to look an awful lot like a seedy bowling ally and arcade. I was not that excited about bowling or playing pool with strangers. Therefore I went and played some nice video games, actually video game – Gauntlet. The finest use of a quarter there at the time because there was no front scrolling plane/spaceship shooting baddies and trying to grab power-ups type game which to be honest was my preference. After our game room passing of time we adjourned to one of the kid's massive and parent-less house. I had figured out that I had no chance of impressing these kids and the girls were beyond not interested in me so I just loosened up and decided to have some fun amusing myself – not masturbation. I started joking about how really manly men would not participate in the silly games the girls were wanting to play and that real manly men would sit around with their pants of in their underwear playing video games while they farted and ate chips. I started miming and and joking with a broad and bawdy humor that I knew would amuse the boys and further alienate the already out of reach girls. The only shred of civility and restraint I ever showed in my humor was when I thought there was a chance that my best behavior might land me in the lap of a willing lady that check on my behavior gone I was free to two fist my assault on their upper middle class sensibilities. I got the boys rolling and when the girls tried to regain the room I just mocked them more with very funny exaggerations of their prudish motherly disapproval of my jokes.
'What you are saying is soooo inappropriate.'
'You are soooo immature.'
'That is not funny that is just lame.'
It was always my favorite part of any kind of exchange when a novice at smartassery tried to wade in to battle on my terms. I had spent my life with a facial scar and half the size of everyone else my only weapon was my smart ass. There was one young lady there that thought she had the skill to hang in with a little verbal sparring and it just made for amazing setups for jokes that were killing in the 15-17 year-old boy demographic. We were, the boys, laughing ourselves hoarse and causing abdominal strains by the time she abandoned ship and took the rest of the girls with her and went home. That was fine because then the boys got to sit around and fart and play video games, not in our underwear. I was not invited back.