I don't know if my parents had been reading some new age parenting
book or if they had just suffered some head trauma but the next day
when they were going to decide on my punishment for my intention to
[possibly vandalize they said that they were going to wait until the
end of the day when the whole family could get together and we would
have a family council. Family councils in our house only went one
way, we would all throw out ideas, my dad would tell us why they were
all stupid or were not going to be acceptable and then we would go
with his plan he had in mind before we started. This is how we
choose to get a cow;
Family: 7 Against:
Dad: 1 For
Result: Got the cow
And how we choose where to go on vacation;
Family:The beach, Disney Land, Sea World, Lake Powell
Dad:Fish Lake
Result: Fish lake
He would always start out pretending that he was honestly seeking our
opinions and then get really frustrated about 30 minutes in that we
didn't pick his idea, start yelling and tell us what we had chosen as
a group. After a few times dancing this parsimonious pas de duex
my brother and I would just
start out mocking him and asking what we were going to decide on as a
family in the end so we could save the time and dignity of this
farce. That would make him extra mad and he would skip to the part
where he just told us what we were going to do faster. That, constant
reader, is what we call a win-win in the business world. In this
disciplinary council family meeting, the first of its kind and maybe
the last if I remember right, my mom and dad explained what I had
been up to; sneaking out and thinking about toilet papering. Then
they asked what my punishment should be, the suggestions ranged from
grounding to extra chores but when the peanut gallery had had its
turn at sham democracy my dad said that because I was trying to
destroy the community, (c'mon dad, destroy?) I should have to do
community service as punishment. He said I had to get documentation
that I had done 6 hours of community service signed by an adult
before I could go play, drive the car or have any extra privileges. I
have seen starlets get less for drunk driving.
