This Shopping Crap Ain't Worth It

 Back to talking about Monucha. Towards the end of summer Monucha and I still had been keeping a lukewarm long distance relationship but hadn't gone anywhere together until we worked out a school clothes shopping trip to the mall with just us and one of her good friends. I was not a enthusiastic mall shopper because I didn't have the money, or more accurately I didn't want to spend my hard earned money on some expensive t-shirts and jeans especially when I could make funnier shirts then were on offer and I could get all of my school clothes and shoes for under a hundred bones at the local Deseret Industries thrift shop. When I was young I was ashamed of the stigma of buying second hand clothes but my personal attachment to my money prevented my shame from compelling my wallet hand to pay outrageous prices for new clothing. 25 dollars for a pair of Levi Silver Tabs? Yeah, if I was made of money. I would be happier in five dollar pants. I would show up for a little window shopping, goofing off, loitering and looking for girls to flirt with but on this day the last bit was taken care of so I was down to just some milling about and wandering. That is what I thought because I had never been shopping, proper shopping, with a girl, a proper girl. She was really into shopping and trying stuff on and looking at every flipping-gosh-dang stupid item of clothing in every store in the who blessed mall. I am a shopping laser beam. Pants 28-30 – whoosh – got them. Try them on? Why? I am wearing a pair right now and they fit like a dream. There, shopping done – what was my time? Girls have no idea what size they are wearing and if that number relates to the numbers that are on other clothes because every brand and style of clothes is a little different and plus the ladies have more curves and bumps that they need to settle the clothes around and that takes some trying on and some more trying on and then some more just for good measure. I had set up this shop-date in the hopes that it was like a one or two our deal that would adjourn to a private spot for some kissey time but wearing on my fifth hour I was beginning to wonder if I even liked this girl any more. I was actually starting to thing that I didn't by the eighth hour I was tired bored and sore and had decided that no amount of slap and tickle was worth this misery and I excused myself because she had indicated that there were still a few more stores she wanted to go to. I left drove home and never really hung out with much less talked to Monucha again. I mean I am a man willing to pay the price for the chance to score some loving but at some price point demand dries up and a full day at the mall is more then I can afford on a product I hadn't even sampled.