The
ACT is a testing right of passage for all those graduating seniors
who want to go on to college and even for those who don't want to go
to college but who have parents who want them to go to college. I did
want to go to college and I needed an academic scholarship as well as
other scholarships so that I could go to school for free. In light of
that urgent need I did absolutely nothing to prepare myself to take
the test. The Friday night before the Saturday test I went out with a
couple of my friends, stayed up all night, met some girls, tried
score some weed and ate at Denny's. That had not been the plan at the
start of the night. There were four of us who had to take a test the
next day so we decided to all sleep over a one guy's house and then
next morning we get up and go to the test together and make sure
nobody missed their ride. What actually happened was that we loaded
up and went the next town over to “drag main”. That is a game
where a bunch of hillbillies go on Friday and Saturday nights who had
nothing to do basically drive up and down the street trying to find
girls. These mythical girls who for some reason want to be picked up
off Main Street and then go 'hook up' were hard to find. This plan
worked almost exactly never. It was on the night when it was a
terrible time to try that it did. After an hour or so of fruitless
driving and flirting we came alongside a group of girls who asked us
if we had cigarettes, we did not have cigarettes but they said we
looked cute so they asked us to follow them. Where they wanted us to
follow them was over to police officers house whose son sold
marijuana. There plan was for us to buy them some weed but we
declined the offer and just followed them back to their house and
Springville. It was a ratty little place and when we walked in one of
the girls mom's asked if we had any G-D weed. We had not so they
didn't even bother to ask our names and we were treated as
ambivalently as is humanly possible. We were naive and thought that
there was still maybe a chance to get some making out this evening
and so we stayed and watched that golden oldie of stoner
cinematography the godawful Dazed and Confused. For
the record, that is the stupidest movie in the history of stupid
movies and only potheads enjoy it. They could actually use quotes
from that and Fast Times at Ridgemont High as a quick screen
drug test. That and face tattoos. We finish up the movie at about two
o'clock in the morning and started to realize we were not going to
score any sweet kissing action this night. That is when we start
thinking that if we drove back home, and then get to bed it will be
three or four in the morning not leaving much time before we had to
wake up two hours later to be the testing site at seven o'clock. The
only practical option at this point was to stay up all night, eat
dinner/breakfast at Denny's and then go to the test. See? Completely
logical.
