It seems like whomever is making up advice cliches balances them
equally between either side of an issue to ensure that whatever you
choose there will be a well turned phrase that proves what ever you
picked was wrong and that is why you failed. That is why you should
look before you leap but never hesitate or you will be lost. I,
however, do not truck in cliches and that is why with the single
minded tenacity of a particularly determined rodent of some sort I
waded once more into the melee which was science demonstration
determined to wow the kids and redeem myself. This is where someone
with less imagination and writing ability than myself would say
something inane about 'the definition of insanity'. Then someone else
who, in retrospect, saw me succeed could counter with a 'try try
again' type rebuttal. In fairness the 'try try' guy, though
undoubtedly well intentioned, would be in the wrong here. I decided
to bring in the big guns, literally. I had recently certified in
scuba diving and I was going to bring in my equipment for another
science demonstration for Ms. B's class. If you are not impressed by
the technological innovations that make it possible to breathe under
the water then there is something wrong with you my friend, not with
SCUBA. My finale piece was going to be using my spear gun to shoot a
jug of water in a pan to show its awesome destructive power. Turns
out, and you may want to write this down for future reference, when a
seventh grade teacher says you are welcome to bring in your scuba
gear for a demonstration she means the tank, the buoyancy
compensator, gauges, mask and stuff not the razor sharp knife and
defiantly not the spear-gun. I walked into school with my gear to
store it in her class until after lunch when I had my audience
mandated by law to be in attendance. I stacked everything in the
front corner of the class but took the spear-gun out for a little
before school special teaser to build interest in my presentation and
my street cred. Turns out that in just a few minutes it had generated
quite a lot of interest in the hall way and in the, in my opinion,
overcautious response of the teachers. One actually ran through the
crowd of rightfully awed students and rudely grabber the gun from my
hand and grabbed my shoulder with his free hand in what could only be
a misunderstanding. I explained to this teacher and the principle
that my science teacher told me I could bring a spear-gun to school.
I knew this was not entirely accurate because she had said scuba gear
and while a spear gun was and is used by scuba divers I am not sure
that is what she had in mind. I had to leave the gun in the
principals office and we went to talk to Ms. B who was rewarded for
encouraging a young mind by being yelled at by the principal about
how she should have been aware of what I was bringing into the
building. She stood up for me and said it was just a honest mistake
and that she would take care of it, I did some hitching air sucking
and whimper cried for my part in the unfolding drama, convinced that
I had just lost my dad's spear gun for good. It actually turned out
okay and the principal brought the gun right on cue but selfishly
hogged it all to himself during the 'come and touch' portion of the
demonstration. I don't know if the presentation was a absolute
success but compared to that microwave debacle it went gangbusters. The principal gave the gun back to my mom after school and she claimed she didn't even know I had brought it, but that was probably because it was wrapped up in a towel and hidden in a back of fins and booties. I think the takeaway is that we all learned I was not to be trusted and that is good advice except for when you should have trusted me.
