It is important at any stage of life to be the one who knows what
other people do not know. This is how you make money and keep
everyone in awe of how you get a computer to work. When I was in
seventh grade it was important for me to know about all things adult
and worldly. The main problem with that plan was that I knew nothing
about all things adult and worldly. Somehow I fell in with the most
knowledgeable and crazy girl in our grade who knew everything about
everything that was naughty. I didn't have a lot of friends so I had
to go with what I could get. She was always making really funny
perverted jokes and saying really bold and funny things to adults,
which I loved to observe. One day when we were in our second period
class she handed me something under the desk and was laughing about
it. I looked down in my hand under the table and I had no idea what I
had in my hand. It was a two inch square silver packet with something
round in it. She was smiling and giggling like I should be getting
the joke but I was trying to play along while I tied to find out what
was so funny. The rest of the class was being fairly quite and our
little exchange got the attention of our crazy history teacher Mr.
Black. He had walked up, silent as a panther, behind me while I was
looking at the package under the desk. My friend noticed him first
and sat up strait and stopped laughing which I didn't notice until I
felt a hand on my shoulder. Mr. Black asked me what I had in my hand,
and I not knowing what I had in my hand just showed him. He picked me
up with a shoulder pinch and told me to come with him. He kept his
hand on my shoulder as he gave the class instructions to keep them
busy in his absence as we walked toward the door and to the
principals office. What I didn't know besides that I was holding a
condom was that my friend had been quite busy vandalizing the school
with this condom's box brothers and the teachers were on the lookout
for the culprit. I was dropped off to talk to the principal after Mr.
Black told him the story he left me. He asked me where I got the
condom and that is when I knew what it was because I had heard the
term before but I had not, as yet, actually ever seen one. I would like
to say at this point that I was a loyal friend who stood up under the
pressure but when he told me that whomever had placed condoms on the
teacher's antennas on their cars was going to get suspended I told
him what he wanted to know. I actually started crying and blubbering
and saying that I didn't even know what a condom was. I must have
looked like way to much of a wussy to be a vandalism mastermind and
he turned me loose. My friend was coming in to the office as I was
heading out and she never said anything about me ratting her out.
