I don't learn. That is why after a few weeks I forgot the pain of
failure at science demonstration. I asked for another shot and was
given it because Ms. B was awesome like that. This time I decided to
do my presentation on the working of a microwave oven. A fascinating
topic that I thought every other twelve year old would find as
interesting as I did. They did not which would come as no surprise to
anyone who has tried to explain molecular excitation of water by
non-ionizing microwave radiation by radio waves of 2.45 gigahertz
with a 122mm wavelength. Most of us have tried, and sadly failed, to
have this little chat with a kid and make it fun while being
scientifically accurate. I had a microwave generator to show around
and it got polite looks because it was better than listening to me. I
even drew a water molecule and a actual, to scale, wavelength diagram
on the board but there was little to no interest in the topic from my
audience, and physically captive or not they were quickly lost.
Luckily Ms. B saw my ship sinking and thew me a precious lifeline of
making the topic review a game in which she provided candy rewards.
Once again my precocious grasp on electromagnetism and thermodynamics
did not translate to much popularity with the fellas or the ladies. In fact beyond saying that I was weird, a nerd and gay some kids started calling me 'Professor Gause' - not as a complement. What backwards bizzaro world was this I was trapped in where a kid good at the stick-hit-ball game should be universally adored and the one who could explain the inner-workings of major household appliances was shunned? Someone needed to wake me from this nightmare and tell me that there was some sense in the world. They didn't, they haven't and by the looks of it they won't. Ingrates.
