At the end of the summer my mother decided it was time for me to get
out of the house and go back to school to work on my social skills. I
didn't see the need. I had some friends three to four years younger
than me a psychopathic one my own age. Social skills, Schmoscial
skill I say. But it was once more into the breach and everyone else
already knew how this home room and then changing classes thing
worked I was terrified that I would be hopelessly confused and then
mockery and shame would inevitable follow. What I didn't know is that
I was beyond the bottom of the social ladder and mockery a nd shame
would have at least made people pay attention to me which is the
unofficial bottom rung – Acknowledgment of Existence. I went
shopping for clothes at all of the usual thrift stores and bargain
retailers and assembled what looked to me in the bathroom mirror at
home, like a pretty sweet look. I probable thought it looked pretty
sweet because I had not had contact with kids my own age in so long
that I had failed to notice that gray corduroy paired with a red and
gray stripped polo was not cool, and had never been cool. It was only
passable if you were too young to protest what your mother was
putting on you. I was actually starting to get excited to go to
school as the day rolled around and I was able to to get my
reintegration in action. It was a little embarrassing to re-meet all
of the regulars and meet for the first time some of the kid who had
moved in. They asked where I had been for the last year and I went
with an instant classic, I told them I was too smart for school so I
was working on my own preparing to go to college early and I was just
coming back to work on my social skills. This little exaggeration was
quickly seized upon by the mockers and I was teased about being too
smart for school and one kid would always ask me if I was in college
yet. No not yet smart ass. Not yet.
