We
were outnumbered in Santaquin middle school, almost two to one. I am
talking about girls, of course, lots of them which normally was no
problem but there is that gender specific class, Physical Education,
that requires boys and girls be in segregation. Seventh grade was
when some of the kids had started hitting puberty and stinking. That
meant that we were supposed to have showers after gym but it was also
the last class of the day so there was not that much shame in not
doing it you could just head home stinky and all and shower later
that night. There was a couple of problems with a mixed class, first
the girls were not as aggressive and athletic as the boys so in
conflict games like the aforementioned war ball girls were a
liability if they were on your team and an easy target if they were
on the other team. The teachers who chose up the co-ed PE class tried
to find the wimpiest and least athletic boys so we would not be
over-matched against the girls but it was still not even. You know
what? I was just thinking that if the class was the nerdiest and
wimpiest boys and I was in the class then I must have been some kind
of outlier,a real 6σ situation.
The second problem is that the teacher was female and she was not
allowed into the boys locker room and we knew it. There was some
freedom in knowing that the teacher could only yell at you through
the door. Some of the more adventurous and not-shy boys started a
game where they would turn on all of the showers in the shower bank
alcove and then get a run from the other side of the locker room and
then slide butt naked across the floor like a nudist slip-and-slide.
I was not that bold but I could appreciate the humor of the
situation. One day we were in there way too long and the teacher was
yelling for us to knock off whatever was so funny and come out now.
She then came up to the door and yelled in that we were all going to
get in big trouble if we didn't get out right then. A grown woman at
the door yelling at a bunch of naked pre and recently pubescent boys
threatening to come in and throw us all out naked scared us to death
and we made haste to wrap up the naked-in-school portion of our day.
When we got out she had found out about the naked slip and slide and
warned the boys who were participating that whatever punishment she
would affix would be less intense then the case of athlete's butt
they probably just picked up. The idea of a woman bursting in on us
naked must have scarred deeply into my psyche because for years I had
a sometimes reoccurring nightmare that featured me naked in the gym
class locker room and an unseen female banging and pushing on a door
that took all of my strength to hold shut. On occasion, in the dream,
she would also demand that I hand out my penis. That part was not
part of the original trauma of being yelled at by a female gym
teacher but it mush have been implied to my young mind. When people
tell me that dreams can come true, I relate this dream and then tell
them I certainly hope they cannot.
