There is only one way through a mobile home and that is front to back
in a strait line. If you are having a touch of the cabin fever and
want to run around you have the choice of up the hall or down the
hall or if you are feeling daring, both. One of our favorite moves
when we were well clear of parental oppression was to use the hall
from the back bedroom to the front as a runway and the arm of the
couch at the end of the hall as a pommel horse. We would get a run as
fast as we could down the hall jump and handspring to a front flip
over the armrest and land on the cushions. We were perfecting the art
one day going for one-and-a-half flips and round-offs and grannies
when tragedy struck. Well, it stuck me, or more accurately it was
laying there and I impaled myself upon the tragedy. A toothpick had
been left on the floor somehow and had worked itself into a nearly
vertical orientation. After a great run-jump-trick-dismount series I
was turning to run back when it went deeply through my heel and broke
off inside. You may be asking yourself what is it with this kid and
the wood breaking off inside his body, good sir or madam constant
reader, I have no idea, no dang idea. My brother and sister tried to
help me pick it out but it had broken off and was drawn in about ½
an inch and it was really painful. When my parents got home they took
a look and quickly determined that it was in need of medical
attention and my mom took me into the E.R. For the ten-umpteenth
time. The doctor asked ridiculous questions about how it came to be
that I had a toothpick jammed all the way into my heel, like he was
surprised that something intended for your mouth would somehow be
perfectly positioned to go deeply in a bare foot. He had to numb up
and then cut back my foot meat until he got to the actual bone and
then he got to the end of the toothpick and pulled it out stitched it
all back up and sent me home. This was a useless injury, it hurt
incredibly badly, everyone who has never had a foot injury think it
sounds minor, most people blamed the victim – including my dad. The
unkindest cut of all you don't ask? Well, I will tell you the scar is
on the bottom of my foot and completely un-show-off-able. Oh, that
and it hurts whenever the air pressure changes. My advice is to just
skip it as the upside is miniscule and the downside is significant.
But do what you want, you will anyway, but a word to the wise is, in
this case at least, most likely unnecessary.
