When I was an 11-year-old cub scout I got to go on my first
over-night camp-out in our neighbor's bus. They had a really large
family and they had converted an old school bus into a camper but it
was no longer running and it was in their backyard as a scout refuge
from the parents. It was really exciting for me to go hang out with
the older boys especially because one of the guys was a huge Eddie
Murphy fan and had listened to his Raw and Delirious albums about a
million times and could recite the whole show with a pretty good
imitation including the braying laugh. I didn't know who Eddie Murphy
was but if a 17-year-old boy thinks something is funny it carries a
lot of weight in the circle I rode with. There were about 12 boys
that were there at the campfire listening and watching a recreation
of a sketch comedy special and we were all laughing so hard that we
were about to cry. When it was time to go to bed we all piled into
the buss that had about 20 beds built into the walls and back and
laid in our sleeping bags talking until 2 or 3 in the morning. I was
the last one to go to sleep and when I was heading off to the land of
Nod I had the distinct need to void my bladder. I also had the
overwhelming dread of going out into the strange night. I
compromised, and by compromised I mean caved in fear, and decided to
try and sleep with a full bladder. In a not in anyway surprising turn
of events I peed the bag or maybe it was peed the bus, anyway I
urinated on my bedding. I woke up very early, I think it was around 5
a.m., I bundled up my bag and gear and walked the half mile home. As
far as I know, and given the propensity of young boys to jump on the
bully pile should the opportunity arise, I would have known; no one
ever knew. When they asked me at church why I had left so early I
told them I had a really bad headache and decided to go home. I think that was the last time I ever peed the bed at all, let alone on a group activity. Only took eleven years so that is not bad at all.
