I am by nature a pretty cowardly person but I also like
to show off so sometimes those conflicting interests conflict and I
end up doing something ill advised and poorly thought out to try and
look cool. Mission not accomplished. There was an old run down
community pool in the next city over that offered swimming lessons
and one summer my mom signed us up even though we were already
competent swimmers. We went to class the first day and the old lady
was trying to teach us how to put our heads under water and blow
bubbles but when she saw we were several years older than the group
she was teaching and that we could already swim she sent us over to
the advanced group which was a step too far. They were working on
form for races and diving and stuff so we tried to jump right into
the flow of that class but were quickly exhausted so the teacher gave
us some kick boards to keep us afloat while we practiced. The kick
board was awesome but when it came time for diving practice, or in my
sister and I's case jumping off practice we were supposed to leave
the boards on the side. While the teacher was not watching I pushed
the kick board out under the high board in what I thought was going
to be the set-up to a magical and impressive trick. I imagined that I
would jump off the high board and hit the kick board in stride as it
were and surf away standing on the board. I know that sound
ridiculous and the reason that sounds that way is because it was. I
pushed the board out and then ran up the ladder to dive before anyone
else could steal my great idea. I lined up my approach vectors for my
moment of triumph and jumped. I did hit the board squarely with both
feet, so, so far so good. Then the board went under the water
developing a lot of resurfacing potential and then it slipped out
from under my feet and hit my right in the nose as I my head was
hitting the water. It was one of those instant blood gushing nose
bleeds that got everyone’s attention and the instructor pulled me
out and was yelling at everyone telling them that having a kick board
under the high dive was extremely dangerous and if she found out who
had done it she was going to kick them out of swimming. I kept quite
and bled because I felt I had been punished enough already for my
lack of common sense without having to be kicked out of swimming.
