I think a parachute is a very good idea. Maybe I should say the idea
of a parachute is a good idea but that in execution sometimes it
lacks in execution. I naturally wanted to try my hand at paracute
design and as is my style I wanted to go big with no safety net,
except what would be strapped to my back. I started out my design to
protect me from jumping from the top of our mobile home with a
unconventional design that has become widely copied - the semi-rigid
wing, or flying squirrel design. The current and successful designs
use super strong polymers in a precision engineered airfoil. Mine
used more cardboard and duct tape and less precision design but it
was basically the same thing. I was not entirely sure that my
cardboard wings were going to keep me safe so I backed them up with
some sheets that I taped together and then attached to my shoulders
with some yellow rope. I was all set for a test flight so I climbed
awkwardly onto the trampoline with my rig and jumped off the side. I
was not arrested in mid air or even slowed at all but I assumed that
was because the wings and parachute didn't have enough time to deploy
fully. The natural next step was to jump from the roof of the house.
This was not as dangerous as it sounds because we lived in a mobile
home and the roof was only 10 feet off the ground. I got a ladder and
tried not to die while I climbed up wearing my apple box wings and
sheet parachute. I looked over the edge at the ground for awhile
looking for the softest spot and imagining how cool it would be
wafting to the ground like a leaf in the wind. I jumped when I built
up courage and shot to the ground with no discernible slowing from
free fall. My feet hit the ground very hard and my knees buckled up
around my chest and knocked the wind out of me and I got strangled in
the sheets. I laid there trying to breathe and realizing that this
design was not one to try again. When I was done almost dieing I
wadded up the rig and threw it all away in the garbage and took a
nap.
