Slang a Gator Up Against a Tree

 There is a cave and nature trail kind of state park not far from where my cousins live and we went there one of our days there for the tour. The cave tour was pretty cool and then we went for the walk around the boardwalk that wound through the swamp and we stopped with the ranger to look at an alligator. There was a teenage hillbilly on the path in front of us and he was telling the group he was with that he was 'fixin' to jump down there and snatch up that li'l ol' gator and slang it up against a tree to bash its head in'. The ranger, who judging from her accent was not from these parts, grabbed him and informed him that he would not be slanging anything up against any trees. The kid was startled and said he was just kidding, but once he got enough distance between us to recompose his bravado started loudly proclaiming how few vulgar words for excrement that he gave about some stupid old ranger. It was such a funny slice of the redneck life that I have often in the years since claimed that I was about to jump down somewhere and slang something up against a tree and dash ts brains out. This is usually when I am experiencing some wonder of the natural world - a seal, a manatee or something else that is living so peacefully that it just begs to be slung up. For some reason my decade old inside joke which is meant to be an ironic commentary on the culture of violence endemic in the hillbilly ethos is misunderstood as just a regular threat of violence and people are offended. Come on people, try and keep up.