There is a cave and nature trail kind of state park not far from
where my cousins live and we went there one of our days there for the
tour. The cave tour was pretty cool and then we went for the walk
around the boardwalk that wound through the swamp and we stopped with
the ranger to look at an alligator. There was a teenage hillbilly on
the path in front of us and he was telling the group he was with that
he was 'fixin' to jump down there and snatch up that li'l ol' gator
and slang it up against a tree to bash its head in'. The ranger, who
judging from her accent was not from these parts, grabbed him and
informed him that he would not be slanging anything up against any
trees. The kid was startled and said he was just kidding, but once he
got enough distance between us to recompose his bravado started
loudly proclaiming how few vulgar words for excrement that he gave
about some stupid old ranger. It was such a funny slice of the
redneck life that I have often in the years since claimed that I was
about to jump down somewhere and slang something up against a tree
and dash ts brains out. This is usually when I am experiencing some
wonder of the natural world - a seal, a manatee or something else
that is living so peacefully that it just begs to be slung up. For
some reason my decade old inside joke which is meant to be an ironic
commentary on the culture of violence endemic in the hillbilly ethos
is misunderstood as just a regular threat of violence and people are
offended. Come on people, try and keep up.
