As school started for the fall the members of the student body
presidency were expected to put on a welcome back assembly. We had
met a few times in the weeks leading up to the day to plan and
rehearse. We had some things that we had to fit in and do but we did
have the time to make an intro skit which we decided should include
Healthriders, and the song 'Eye of the Tiger'. I know, I know they
are a natural pairing but we were pioneers. Healthriders were a
fitness fad that had, for the most part, come and gone by the time we
were putting on this skit. They were a a fitness machine that worked
by having the user sit on the seat and push down on the pedals and
pull the handle to their hips. Imagine an 'air-hump' motion or better
yet acquaint or reacquaint yourself with this awesome fitness
innovation of the mid nineties with this workout video.
The point of
using Healthriders is that they make everyone who uses one look
idiotic and vaguely incompetently sexually suggestive. The skit went
like this, The lights went down and the 'Eye of The Tiger' Started
playing as the curtain came up to show five empty Healthriders.
Wearing our student council customized hockey jerseys we all drill
marched in time out to our machines and mounted them and then started
pumping them in time to the 'Tiger'. As each of us were introduced we
would have the spot light move to us while we did a trick on our
'Rider. My trick was to put my hands on the seat and invert my hips
to make a rather overtly sexual hip thrust with each pump of the
beat. Our duly elected secretary was the only girl in the group and
she had a different style of knock-off Healthrider that had a
resistance piston that didn't allow for smooth and quick returns
which meant she was struggling to stay n time already but her trick
was to pretend to fall of of her machine. Combined with being out of
time it just looked like she couldn't figure out how to ride at all.
I don't know if it was memorable for the audience, many laughed at
the time but most were just confused. I definitely had a fun time and
I thought it was hilarious, but then again we would all like to write
our own reviews.
