The Bonds of Shrimp

 besides the pure power and unbridled joy of driving being sixteen opened other doors for me namely solo video rental. My own account and my own choices meant that the fare could be a little less family friendly, in theory. Practically with eight, then nine, then eight people living in a mobile home together with one TV smack dab in the middle of the living room meant that the fare was exactly presentable at all times. The biggest use I made of the rental privilege was for absolutely not gay Bond and Shrimp dates with my best friend where no girls were allowed. I say not allowed but it was a little more like they were uninterested and they would have been heartily welcomed if they had shown the least degree of interest. I am not sure how it all evolved but at some point we had a fairly regular gig where we would find one of the James Bond movies that we had not seen yet in one of the three video rental stores in our town and the next one over and then go to the grocery store and buy a pound or two of shrimp. We would head back to his house because he had only one non-mungy brother who wouldn't even ask for some shrimp. They had a room for the TV downstairs that was ideal for watching a movies without people horsing around in front of you or worst of all having my dad come home and making me work instead of entrophicate like I intended. We would boil the shrimp, melt the butter and then fire up the mindless action and misogyny which is the miracle of James Bond. We watched all of the suave sixties bonds with Sean Connery, the goofy campy Roger Moore stuff and the darker Timothy Dalton stuff. The best by far though for absolute ridiculousness was the one off “In Her Majesties Secret Service' with the awful George Lazenby. There is a scene in the movie where George is wearing a kilt and he walks into a room with a lady friend for a little mommy-daddy fun time and the camera pans to his low ankles and in a cliché turned on its head the man's skirt drops around his wool socks in what has got to be the least sexy moment in film history.
Hard to argue with the fashion choices of a guy with twice as many women as I have. 
We laughed and laughed and actually rewound it to enjoy again and again. In two years we watched all 17 of the Bond films that were on tape and even had a new one to go see our junior year. Good times, good good times.