besides the pure power and unbridled joy of driving being sixteen
opened other doors for me namely solo video rental. My own account
and my own choices meant that the fare could be a little less family
friendly, in theory. Practically with eight, then nine, then eight
people living in a mobile home together with one TV smack dab in the
middle of the living room meant that the fare was exactly presentable
at all times. The biggest use I made of the rental privilege was for
absolutely not gay Bond and Shrimp dates with my best friend where no
girls were allowed. I say not allowed but it was a little more like
they were uninterested and they would have been heartily welcomed if
they had shown the least degree of interest. I am not sure how it all
evolved but at some point we had a fairly regular gig where we would
find one of the James Bond movies that we had not seen yet in one of
the three video rental stores in our town and the next one over and
then go to the grocery store and buy a pound or two of shrimp. We
would head back to his house because he had only one non-mungy
brother who wouldn't even ask for some shrimp. They had a room for
the TV downstairs that was ideal for watching a movies without people
horsing around in front of you or worst of all having my dad come
home and making me work instead of entrophicate like I intended. We
would boil the shrimp, melt the butter and then fire up the mindless
action and misogyny which is the miracle of James Bond. We watched
all of the suave sixties bonds with Sean Connery, the goofy campy
Roger Moore stuff and the darker Timothy Dalton stuff. The best by
far though for absolute ridiculousness was the one off “In Her
Majesties Secret Service' with the awful George Lazenby. There is a
scene in the movie where George is wearing a kilt and he walks into a
room with a lady friend for a little mommy-daddy fun time and the
camera pans to his low ankles and in a cliché turned on its head the
man's skirt drops around his wool socks in what has got to be the
least sexy moment in film history.
 |
| Hard to argue with the fashion choices of a guy with twice as many women as I have. |
We laughed and laughed and
actually rewound it to enjoy again and again. In two years we watched all
17 of the Bond films that were on tape and even had a new one to go
see our junior year. Good times, good good times.
