A few weeks after we started dating there was a weekend where I had
picked up my sister from Job Corps and the rest of my family was out
of town. Once my sister headed out for the night with her friends
that left me alone, in my house, to my own devices while everyone was
away. I called up my new girlfriend and invited her over and she was
more than happy, kind of disturbingly, more than happy actually to
come over. I went and picked her up stopped and rented a movie and
then went back to my deserted house. In my car the bench seat allowed
her to scoot in quite close, which she did. I am not a really cuddly
guy and I really don't like people squeezing in so close as to limit
my range of motion; it makes me claustrophobic, and not in a good
way. She was starting to cross the line into a legitimate safety
hazard as I was straining to drive the six miles back home. We
arrived un-wrecked if not unmolested and went in to pretend to watch
the movie we had rented. The movie in the VCR and started I sat on
the couch for a the nice leisurely warm up to making out I was used
to. Usually with the girls I dated I was the gas and they were the
breaks and if I was over ambitious I could ruin the mood and go home
empty handed. Not so this evening with this girl. She was at
self-immolation levels of gas and I was put in the unusual position
of having to be the breaks because I was not quite sure how far I
wanted this thing to go. As I mentioned before, I liked this girl
just fine; she was cute and into me, which is always a plus. I just
didn't really click with her personality and I definitely didn't like
her friends. Maybe it was already too late to turn back now and tell
her I was hoping for a little light non-committal making out. I was
not enjoying the making out or the movie we were pretending to watch
as I agonized over how I could stop her without shutting this party
down completely. Luckily at that point my sister and her friends, who
were usually all night party people, came back home and gave me an
out. She came in and opened the door and turned on the lights which
is the scientifically best way to end a make out party on the verge
of becoming more party. We quickly straitened up and smoothed
ourselves and my sister made fun of us a little and I had never been
so happy in my life to be caught and teased. My sister and her
friends came in and joked about what we were doing and when they left
to go do some raising of the hells I invited my girlfriend and myself
along to avoid any further possible entrapment and possible
misunderstanding about our relative commitment to this relationship.
I decided that the next day I was going to call her up and let her
know exactly what ground this relationship was on so we didn't have
any false hopes or pretenses. I did really intend to do just that,
and then I chickened out.
