5 Piece Chicken Dinner

 The other thing that the CB could do with the proper equipment installed was to act as a PA system. A PA system of mockery and public ridicule. We could turn on a PA and drive past a girl and a boy flirting in a parking lot and I would say, “Kiss her, I did.”. We could drive by some cowboys and if we knew one of their names I could make my voice sound like a sheep and say 'Kaaaaam is my faaaather.' and then laugh while they got riled up by the implication that they had participated in some barnyard buggery and sired a part human part sheep monstrosity. We could flirt, mock, taunt and startle all from the comfort of the cab with a mic in the hand and mischief in the soul. We especially liked to break it out when visiting a rival school for a sporting event and let loose a torrent of insults and provocations on all of the parking lot and then wait for the mayhem to develop. One of the funniest things for us to do in our own estimation was to play the song, 'Five Piece Chicken Dinner” by the Bestie Boys over and over driving around whooping and hollering while the thirty second song repeated. 

I don't know why that worked for us but it certainly did. We never got beat up for our antics but one time we did pick up some girls from another town whom we subsequently dated. The moral of the story, if there is one, is that being a jerk is rewarded with the affections of ladies but we already knew that, didn't we?