The Fairmont was a really big car for a two-door sport model and it
had a massive trunk. One night when we were going out we smashed 21
kids in the front and back and while it was not comfortable we did
not die. One afternoon my brother, some friends and I were going to
make a run to the local thrift store for some light low-fashion
shopping and we didn't have room for all 8 people who wanted to go
without going laps. For 15 and sixteen-year-old boys there was
nothing worse then having to go laps with some dude and risk being
labeled gay, so that option was right out. One of the boys offered to
ride in the truck if we would get him a pillow and a blanket to lay
on. We provided him his accoutrements and he loaded up and we closed
him in the trunk and hit the road. The Fairmont was close to twenty
years old at that point and its exhaust system had seen better days
wherein the gasses produced in the engine were gracefully whisked out
the butt end of the car with none going into the cabin or trunk at
all. Sadly, and almost tragically, those days had passed. When we
arrived at the store we opened up the truck to release the luggage
traveler to find him semi-conscious and complaining of numbness in
his hands and feet as well as blurred vision. I would bet you
anything it had to do with all of the exhaust gasses that had leaked
into the trunk while we were driving but with no test equipment there
with us there is no way to know for sure. We helped him walk over to
some shady grass where he said he needed to throw up but he didn't
throw up after about five minutes he said he was doing fine and we
went to find some ridiculous clothes to buy. Just to make sure we
didn't kill him we let out previously trunk only passenger join us
even if it meant going laps. Maybe we are insufficiently committed to
appearing heterosexual at all times but this was one time when we
thought it was better to be apparently gay then dead.
