After my poster debacle I was hanging around with my jerk friends by
a small pond that was on the north-west corner of the park. I at the
time had assumed I was just out with a regular set of friends and
didn't even think that they might be of the massive butt-hole
variety. I was chatting up some ladies that were there by the pond
and one of my less debonaire friends was shy and jealous and decided
to shut up my girl talking with hard hit. His malformed instinct was
to accost me physically because besides being shy he was decidedly on
the dim side. So there I was, all oblivious to the machinations of
his cromagnan mind and mid witticism – Blamo! He tackled me full
force into the pond and I was engulfed in stinky pond water before I
even knew what had happened. I tried a couple of times to right
myself on the slippery ground which made the scene even more
entertaining for my jack-knob friend. I asked him why exactly in the
hell he had just done that, trying my very best to keep the pre-cry
wavers out of my voice. I was mad that I was wet and in a pond of
course but I was really embarrassed to have been abused in front of
some girls. He was bully laughing in that forced and mightily
irritating way they must have in a bully handbook somewhere based on
it cross cultural ubiquity. He told me it was to teach me a lesson
for always talking to girls. I didn't really understand what that
meant but I called him all sort of swear laden names to try and
regain some of my dignity. I was soaked through in my peacocking
clothes which diminishes their effectivity somewhat in the eyes of
women who like there men dry and clean and not smelling like fetid
stinky swamp water. I was furious and soggy and trapped because I
had actually gotten a ride to the fair with one of my joker friends
and I was forced to drip dry until they decided it was time to go. It
was hours later when all but my crotch,which is always the last place
to dry out in these situations, had dried and my ride decided it was
time to saddle up and roll out. The kid who had pushed me in asked if
I was still mad in a tone that indicated he wasn't sorry and I told
him that I was indeed pissed off. He told me to let it go because it
was just a joke. I told him to get bent. We rode home in near silence
and I never went out anywhere with that friend again. I have since
run into him and we are friendly enough but I think if I were to see
him standing by a pond I may still have twinge of retribution in my
heart.
