In the olden days when you needed gas you would get gas and then pay
for it after you had it in the tank. It was the honor system and it
mostly worked except for the one major flaw in the system, you could
just drive off. One night when I was taking the girlfriend I still
had not found a way to break up with yet out to the movies I went and
filled up the tank of my sporty two-door 1978 Ford Fairmont and then
pulled up to the store to go in and pay and get some gum. I went in,
used the bath room got a pack of gum, saw the time and realized I was
almost late and there was a line so I put the gum back headed back
out to the car and drove off to make the curtain in time. It is a
good thing I rushed too because who would want to miss every
horrifyingly badly acted second of a Claude Van Dam movie? When I
dropped my girlfriend off I went to get a late night snack on my way
home and when I went to pay I noticed I had way more money than I
should have based on the amount I spent on the movie and gas. That is
when it dawned on me that I had never paid for my gas and I got very
worried. I imagined that after I drove off the old lady running the
till at the gas station was on the phone to the cops giving them my
plat number and description and they were now on the lookout for a
gas stealer that fit my description. I got very nervous because all I
could say was that I forgot to pay, which was technically true, but
the most obvious lie in the history of police work. I drove home on
the back roads and spent a fitful night thinking about what kind of
consequences I might face when I was arrested. I am too pretty for
prison. The next morning I rode my bike back to the gas station just
in case they were looking for the car. I went inside and looked at
the list of people they kept on the register that were wanted for
driving off. I was not on it and neither was my car. I was a little
relived but then I had to decide to just walk away or do the right
thing and pay. I actually walked out and had gotten on my bike ready
to complete the theft and had a twinge of what may have been guilt or
it could have a little fear that I was just not on the list yet and I
was still under the gun. Either way I went back in and told them that
I accidentally drove off without paying. The girl that was at the
till was a bit of an idiot and was not aware of how to call up what I
had not paid and said that if I paid her then her till would be off
and so I should just go. Fair enough. It was not long after that all
of the gas stations switched to prepay making it lots harder to steal
gas.
