I was constantly insulting and insinuating and joking so the
accusation that I had said something about someone would most of the
time, by sheer chance, be true. That is why it came as such a shock
to me that I was a wanted man by the mullet-ed hell raiser that we
had not mocked on the bus. Some friend of a friend warned me that he
was looking for me and wanted to beat me up for saying that his girlfriend was a slut. Not true. I had, in the course of my schooling, implied that many girls where sluts but she was quiet and nice and
not even on my radar as far as targets were concerned. I preferred to
make fun of jocks, and jet-set cool kids because they were so unused
to being made fun of that they had that pure honest confused look of
a kid being made fun of for the first time. I was not really
concerned about what this little rage monkey had in mind as far as
punishment was concerned because I was about six inches taller than
him and I assumed much stronger. What I had not counted on was the
element of surprise and found myself in a back hallway ambush of a
woman's honor defense. I was walking and talking with a couple of
girls, running a little game, when I was struck quiet unexpectedly
and quite roughly in the back of the head. I winced and asked the
hall in general, “What the 'F”? My attacker had taken a few steps
back and was spluttering mad as I turned to see who had his me.
Little sir mullet-head was telling me I had better keep my mouth shut
about his girl friend and never call her a slut again. I was still a
little dazed and I told him I had never said anything about his
girlfriend but that he was going to die if he ever touched me again.
He told me he was not afraid of me and that if he ever heard that I
had been talking about her again he would beat me down. I reiterated
that I had never said anything but that if he wanted to dance we
could begin pugilistic pas-de-duex right then and there. He decided
to just gather his obviously embarrassed girlfriend up and walk away
telling me it was my last warning. I went back to what I was doing
and never ran in with the Napoleonic douche-bag ever again. I just
hope that he parlayed he sucker punch ambush display of territorial
pissing into some nice dry humping or some serious making out. Girls
love a man who will smack someone unawares in the back of the head
for their honor.
