I considered how to write this post to put me, if not in a positive
light, at least in one that made me look slightly less like a total
butt hole. I have decided that there is no way to accomplish this
with any reasonable facsimile of veracity and so I resign myself to
telling it like it was and hoping time has healed all wounds. I have
told you about my ongoing struggle to find a way to break things off
with the girl I was not really that interested in and what tipped the
scales was when I thought I may have found a viable replacement. That
and my friends had starting making fun of me for going out with her
even going so far as to make up pun based variations on her surname
that they took pains to repeat just two times; often and more often.
When I thought I might have a shot at a girl I liked better that may
have been more impressive to my friends I did the honorable thing and
explained the situation in a calm and mature manner and did my best
not to hurt her feelings. Not really, but that is definitely what I
should have done but I am a coward and a jerk and so when I wanted
out I did that most turdish of breakups and just stopped calling her
and not returning her calls. I timed this to happen over Thanksgiving
break so I would have a solid week for her to hopefully get the hint
and not see me at school and make it awkward for me. After about five
days her best friend managed to get me on the phone under false
pretenses and chewed me out and I didn't even argue because I knew
she was right but I was also committed to ending this one way or
another so I didn't relent. After six weeks it was becoming apparent
that what I thought was a sure thing with this other girl was more
like a misunderstanding and I was left without either, which served
me right. What I did next was the lowest of the low. When I got
lonely for a little female companionship I called up my recently
ex-ed girlfriend, tried to act like nothing had happened and asked if
she wanted to go out. Thankfully, I was rebuffed by the ex who had
enough dignity to tell me to get bent. She even laughed at me and
asked me if I was serious. That, I know, is generally a rhetorical
question but she sounded like she wanted to know so I told her I was
serious and she laughed again told me I was an a-hole and hung up. I
sat in our laundry room with the corded kid's phone resting against
my head and waited for the dead line tone to come on. I felt sorry
for myself because that is just how narcissistic I was. I hung up the
phone and went for a little poopy pants pity party game of
one-on-none at the church until they kicked me out. I didn't really
see my ex much anymore because we ran in different circles. The next
time I talked to her was about a year later when I was with a new
girlfriend and my sister who was down for a visit and we stopped by a
greasy spoon restaurant where she happened to be working the window.
She knew my sister from work, she had been in dance with my current
girlfriend and she knew me from when I was a massive jerk to her. She
was super nice and said hi to us all and told us she had some great
news – she was engaged to be married when she graduated and she
showed us the ring which was too big for her finger because it had
not yet been fitted. We all told her congratulations and we drove off
with our shakes. When we were back on the rode my sister and
girlfriend both laughed at me and made fun of me for ever dating that
girl and I said I thought she was nice and I regretted nothing. That
was a lie to save face, I regretted being such a tool and I was glad
she was with someone who appreciated her.
