We lived on an acre with old trees and lots of overgrown weeds that
had to be tackled for fire safety’s sake once or twice a year. It
would get 3 feet tall or so from the spring rain and summer
irrigation before it started to dry out to a tender box brown and my
dad would either pay someone or go cut it all down himself when he
hit upon an idea - what if it was eaten? He worked for several
dairies in his business so his mind naturally gravitated towards
getting a cow. As was his style he called a family meeting to foster
'buy in' a term he had learned at a leadership camp for scouts. 'Buy
in' is the process by which a leader thinks that everyone who he
leads are full blown idiots who will mindlessly follow his fiat more
fervently if they are tricked into thinking they came up with the
decree, on their own. This is, of course, absurd and is one of the
most condescending leadership techniques as anyone who has had to
endure the charade can attest. The process starts out with a meeting
to ostensibly brainstorm ideas for the solution to a common problem.
This is the part where the leader who has decided on the solution
tries to get people to mention aspects of his preconceived plan, he
then tries to weave them into a narrative about his plan thereby
bamboozling the minions into mistaking this farce for a leader taking
their input and making a plan based on their ideas. My siblings and I
were not idiots and so it was just a joke for us to taunt my dad when
he started to pretend he wanted our input. He would lay out the
problem and then ask for our ideas. We would ask him what we were
supposed to decide because if he could tell us we could save the
time. He would get mad and say he hadn't decided anything he want our
valuable insight to solve the problem. We would once again call his
bluff. He would then get mad and tell us what his idea, which was
supposed to be one of many, was. We would tear down his idea on
principle and then he would get mad and tell us something along the
lines of how we were jackasses and jennys ( the term for a female
donkey if you were unaware) and he had given us the chance to voice
our opinions and be included but now he would just mandate the
changes he had in mind before the meeting began. We would point out
that he said he didn't have a plan before the meeting began,
allegedly. The cow discution followed this same arc except he wanted
us to commit to feeding and caring for the cow – or else he
wouldn't get one. We said that would be fine because we were not
going to care for it. Then the meltdown came right on schedule and we
decided as a family council 1-5 in favor of not getting the cow so the
motion passed and the cow and calf were bought and brought to the
back yard to start eating. Vive democracy!
