Timberline - Pee Mouth


 There is nothing funnier than bodily functions to a group of 12 and 13-year-olds except for simulating bodily functions for a joke. This kid, Preston, had one of the greatest ideas for a prank in the history of pranks. He devised a way to simulate a penis with a hot dog by pushing a straw through it. He would then take a big mouthful of water and spit it through the straw in a hilarious urination analog. He even went so far as to carve a little realism into the hot dog to really sell the effect. That was really funny but someone, who's name may be lost to time, came up with a way to take the joke further. We decided to trick people into putting on a blindfold for a surprise and you would not believe the level of caution among these yahoos it was like they didn't trust us. When we did talk someone into doing it we put them off their guard by giving them candy to taste first and asking if they could tell what it was. Then after two harmless candies Preston would place his ersatz penis on their lips and then a second later spit the water through the straw. I don't know if these kids had someone pee in their mouth for real sometime in their past but it was eerie how quickly each of them was able to guess that the third thing they tried was pee in the mouth, even before they got their blindfolds off. At first they were furious and then when they would discover it was only water spat through a straw threaded through a hot dog they would want to pay it forward. Every time we did it we were laughing harder and harder so it was hard to sign up the next victim. News of the prank got back to the camp leadership who by this time was rather familiar with us and they came to see what was so funny. An adult leader asked for a demonstration of our prank which we were reluctant to give. We had all participated and enjoyed helping in the execution but when it was trouble time we all bravely left Preston to dangle in the breeze to demonstrate his pee in the mouth simulation device by himself while we stayed a respectful distance as to not crowd the artist while he worked. The adult leader was not impressed by the ingenuity and skill in so elegant a trick but art is not for everyone. Someone mentioned that the whole troop had been in on setting up the prank so we were back to cleaning up the camp with Preston oddly upset that we had so quickly threw him under the bus. A scout is loyal but sometimes being over loyal can be a fault.