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| Like little Machiavellis, Clausewitzs, SunTzus and Martha Stewarts always plotting, always planning, never sleeping, never trusting. |
There were lots of games to play in fifth grade but most of them
involved picking teams which was bad news for a bottom rung nerd like
myself. There was a meritocratic game that anyone could work into and
that was foursquare. The problem was originally that cool kids would
'call' a four square field and kick everyone not cool off and do so
with the unsubtle brutality of elementary school kids.
“You cant play on this court because no one likes you.”
Ouch.
At least when you are adults they have mechanisms for excluding the
unsavory - like gates, entrance exams, receptionists, caller id and
high per-plate prices. That keeps the hoi polloi in check without
having to tell them that no one like them it is just implied. Enough
of the riffraff complained about being excluded from play that the
teachers made it illegal for kids to sanction one court for cool kids
and everyone who lined up was allowed to play. There was a second
round of exclusivity when a dirt-bag got on the court the three
remaining cool kids would all try and attack his or her square until
they were out. They also had all kinds of rules that were made up on
the fly to the interlopers disadvantage. All of the sudden
double-holdy-cherry-bomb was a move that the square one guy could use
and you were all but guaranteed to loose you spot. It is important to
note that nerds could not make up crazy cheater moves or even use one
seconds after it had been introduced or you were called a cheater and
kicked off. There were a group of four jet set bullies that always
were monopolizing the best and most level field and I made it my
personal mission to wreck their fun. David, Shawn, Lindi, and Sarah
were the quartet of playground evil that I tried to defeat every day
I would get in and nine times out of ten I would loose in square four
ten seconds after touchdown but at times I would move to to three and
two and on one or two glorious occasions square one and vindication.
On one such day I was in such a zone that David could not cheat of
beat me out of the number one square for almost the entire recess
then when we had just a few minutes left to play he took Shawn and
the ladies and left the square because they were not going to play
anymore if they couldn't gang up on the other kids. I was conflicted
by emotions of elation at having dislodged them by skill alone and
sadness that they were leaving me to play with just a bunch of nerds.
I can't explain why we all didn't just decide we were cool too and
ignore them but once they set out the rules of social order we didn't
want it to stop we all just wanted in. After the cool kids left off
playing foursquare the interest in it dried up and we didn't play
much anymore and then not at all.
