When I
was about 8 my mom's youngest sister, her only biological sister I
guess, she has three step sisters but that is neither here nor
there. Well it is here now because I wrote it but rhetorically that
is just a cliché which means that the tangential point I just made
was irrelevant to the story at hand. The story at hand in case you
had lost you way in that rather tedious aside was that my mom's
sister, my aunt, was getting married and they thought it would be
cute to have me be the ring berrer and my cousin be the flower girl.
In fairness, it was cute. They bought me a little suit and I had a
pillow with the ring on it and I did awesome during practice but then
when the church was full of people I got really scared and my flower
girl cousin had to come back up the isle a ways and take me by the
hand to get me started. She was my Samwise Gamgee I guess. This was actually this first time we had ever
met our cousins from my uncle Rex's family and we hit it off very
poorly, we fought non-stop and even broke more stuff then usual at my
grandfathers house. My mom told me that one time she was walking down
the hall when she saw a kid fly out of a door and hit the far wall. I
just realized that fly could imply a high rate of speed, I meant it
in the sense of being thrown forcefully out of a room by my grandpa
and hitting the far wall. We even got in a fight over a belt of mine
that they had stolen and somehow we got on both sides of a door and
the three girl cousins were pulling on one side of the belt and
Christy and Matt and I were pulling on the other and the cheap hollow
core broke in half. More like cracked right down the middle would be
more accurate but my grandpa kept describing it overly dramatically
as breaking his doors in half. After that meeting we saw the cousins
one more time at my uncle Roy's wedding and then never again to this
day.
