I
was banned from all school activities based on my sub-stellar.
sub-lunar even, attendance and grades. That was going to include the
senior 'sob' assembly where they play a montage of pictures of
popular kids and friends of the producers while they play songs about
how this was the best days of our lives. I was not above debasing
myself and begging to, and I quote, 'Please, please, please let me
do this one last thing.' All whiny and blubbery though. They cracked
and let me if I promised to not make any naughty jokes or make fun of
any teachers or administrators. I agreed and they allowed me to
participate in the writing and producing of the final assembly of my
high school career. I helped write a knock off of Don McLean's
'American Pie' where we cleverly replaced the lyrics about rock and
roll with words about the Payson High school experience so that the
chorus went, 'Now we're singing bye bye Payson High. . .' and lines about what we had done in high school. It all felt very significant and momentous because, at the time beset as we were with the myopia of youth, everything felt very big and very important and uniquely real. Probably like what was happening at the thousands of high schools across the nation more or less simultaneously. They played
memorial tributes and the photo montage and some kids said what they
would miss and all the girls cried and all of the boys tried to
comfort those girls in the most inconspicuously yet deliberately
physical way possible. A good time was had by most and I convinced
myself I had done an all time good job, but I doubt anyone but the
people who worked on the show and I would even remember anything
about it.
