That
chemistry teacher was never really a stickler for that newfangled
political correctness and whatnot. He was always telling us massively
inappropriate stories about blood, gore and dismemberment which you
might find very appealing if you are a fan of the 'Saw' movies or the
Holocaust. He would start out telling us that he had a funny story
about something in the tone halfway between fond reminiscence and
giggly recounting, he would then tell us about a time a lady's head
got blown off or some other charming tale. She'd been using a
pressure cooker and didn't know that she needed to release the
pressure before he took the lid off and when the lid came off, in his
words, it took the top of her head clean off and blew her brains all
over the room. That is sure enough funny stuff. He told lots of other
stories of warring paramedics, or maybe it was war, paramedic
service. Either way if you had the sense of humor of Ted Bundy or
Jeffrey Dahmer you would be rolling your seat. There was a man
scheduled for execution that January that I was in his class and he
offered an open wager to the class that some bleeding heart liberal
would get him an appeal or a pardon before they shot him and that was
eating a hole in his soul. He offered coffee and donuts as stakes if
someone would take the 'he gets shot' side of the wager. I decided to
take him up on that and the deal was struck. Just his normal
teacher-student stuff. That night the man was indeed shot with three
executioners bullets through the heart; Hooray for me! The next day,
true to his word he did have a donut for me when I got the class and
he said it was a small price to pay for that scumbag to be shot. His
only lament was that he didn't get to see it personally. Yeah…
That's what we were all thinking.
