I Bet You He Dies

That chemistry teacher was never really a stickler for that newfangled political correctness and whatnot. He was always telling us massively inappropriate stories about blood, gore and dismemberment which you might find very appealing if you are a fan of the 'Saw' movies or the Holocaust. He would start out telling us that he had a funny story about something in the tone halfway between fond reminiscence and giggly recounting, he would then tell us about a time a lady's head got blown off or some other charming tale. She'd been using a pressure cooker and didn't know that she needed to release the pressure before he took the lid off and when the lid came off, in his words, it took the top of her head clean off and blew her brains all over the room. That is sure enough funny stuff. He told lots of other stories of warring paramedics, or maybe it was war, paramedic service. Either way if you had the sense of humor of Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer you would be rolling your seat. There was a man scheduled for execution that January that I was in his class and he offered an open wager to the class that some bleeding heart liberal would get him an appeal or a pardon before they shot him and that was eating a hole in his soul. He offered coffee and donuts as stakes if someone would take the 'he gets shot' side of the wager. I decided to take him up on that and the deal was struck. Just his normal teacher-student stuff. That night the man was indeed shot with three executioners bullets through the heart; Hooray for me! The next day, true to his word he did have a donut for me when I got the class and he said it was a small price to pay for that scumbag to be shot. His only lament was that he didn't get to see it personally. Yeah… That's what we were all thinking.