The Jay Are Prom

 Man, I jumped the crap out of the gun with that Depeche story I forgot all about Moab and the junior promenade. I was not planning on going to the junior prom on account of I was broke. Then I found out all of the guys who went to Moab for spring break were going and had some pretty sweet plans I decided to invite myself along to that as well. It was only a few days away and I didn't have a date or a suit or some money so I got working lickety-split. I went into the hall opposite f the drafting room where we had been discussing plans and asked the girl who if she was not the hottest girl in the senior class was at least in the running and she said yes. Girl, check – plus. The reason why such a hot girl was still available days before a major dance was because she was supposedly dating a college guy. A fact that I had heard was starting to be on shaky ground as I eves dropped a conversation she was having with a friend who sat by me in a class where she was the T.A.. I mean the upside was immense and the downside was that I got to go on a date with a really hot girl. Not a bad gamble. I went to the local thrift shop and picked up tux for less than it was going to cost to rent one. Fresh fly threads – check – double plus. I went to order flowers and the lady said that she had two in the fridge that were from a botched wedding order and that was awesome. Now all I needed was the scratch to cover the paint balling, dinner, dance, pictures, and after party. I went home and fake did a bunch of chores and rounded up a hundred dollars on promises and importuning. Cash flow – check. I was sitting pretty just waiting for Saturday morning I picked up my date to go play paint ball in what was a terrible bit of planing by boys who thought the best idea was to take some girls to go play a game where you got shot and received welts sometimes in visible spots right before a dance. This was in fact just the first of three times I would make this exact same mistake. My date was 100% gung ho and that was awesome. I did get shot more than I would have hoped but maybe that kept me out of the army later in life. I dropped her off to get ready and then got duded up myself before we went to dinner. Dinner was an uneventful affair at what passed for fancy on a high school hillbilly budget. Except for something to do with somebody either asking the piano player to do something funny or someone doing something funny on the piano. If anybody remembers what it was put it in the comments. The other good part of the evening was that my dates dress would not stay assembled and the shoulder would fall down so deliciously close to a peak as to draw the attention of all my fellow red-bloods and I. No dice though, she was too quick on the catch so that it never got more than PG, 70's PG not that smut they that passes for PG these days.