Sex-Ed Misunderstanding


 There was a class about life, drugs and sex as a teenager called Teen Living which was fun because we were already talking about naughty stuff so it wasn't as hard to work in ribald jokes. I would always pretend that I was not quite sure what the teacher meant and then ask follow ups that would be phrased in such a way as to have the appearance of honest inquiry but just be funny. She was ot overly happy about it but was not really that bad at handling my sas. One time however when she had been talking about pregnancy for a bit she mentioned that after nine months that it felt like you couldn't keep you legs together. The pitch was so slow and right over the comedic plate that I had to try to knock it out of the classroom.
“Not being able to keep your legs together is why you are in this mess in the first place.” Bu-dumb-chaa. Low hanging fruit? More like low hanging fruitlessly – no one laughed and as I had said it when the teacher was behind me I didn't notice that she had closed in behind me and was whacking me in the back of the head with the spine of the book she was holding. It really hurt. What I didn't know was that our sex-ed teacher was a director at the school for pregnant girls and she was not really excited about jokes that blamed the girls for getting pregnant. She was under the impression that the naughty boys were the problem and I was one of those dirty vermin myself. For the rest of class we got to hear about how men ruin everything and they trick and manipulate women. I was sorry I had ever made a lame joke both for the physical abuse and for the rant it triggered. When I suggested that she just had a negative view of men she denied it by saying she had sons and a husband that she loved. To me that sounded like she didn't actually say she didn't but I could see this was her do-not-go area and stayed quite.