In
terms of wins and losses my first varsity match was definitely a
success, in terms of human dignity and the triumph of mind over
matter – not so clear a victory. It was at another Saturday
tournament when I was matched up against a kid who had been
struggling with cancer and was very weak looking and mostly bald. A
worthy foe. We lined up and I was conflicted at my natural concern
for a guy who was clearly not doing well and my excitement over
facing an opponent that was clearly not doing well. The whistle blew
and I shot it and got my first take down in the wild. He fell hard
and was already winded as I controlled him from the top as I tried to
lock up my pinning position. In about 45 seconds I had him down and
locked up for the pin, got the victory and then helped him up not
feeling good at all. I was a little sick with myself for being happy
that I beat a kid who was clearly not well but I rationalized it by
thinking that I had no control of who they matched me up with and I
was honor bound to try my best no matter who I was required to
wrestle. After I got my hand raised in victory the coach came to
congratulate me on my first varsity win and I said thanks but I
thought I needed to fight someone less likely to die when I fought
him to feel like a real winner. I got my chance the next round as I
entered the winners bracket.
