The
girl that I had my sights on was a huge Tori Amos fan and my sister
had introduced me to her sultry girl-and-a-piano styling when I was a
junior so I was a fan as well. When I found out she was coming t0
town, not to our town but to a town we could conceivable get to, I
asked if she wanted to go. She was dating someone at the time so I
made sure she knew that other people were coming so it didn't seem
like a date per se, but I wanted her to think of it as a date
in the sense that she was welcome to kiss me at any and every point
of the evening. One of my friends, one of hers and her friend's
cousin who happened to have been my neighbor for a vary long time all
got tickets and the day of I drove everyone up to the big city near
us to make a day of doing stuff that we could not do in our little
home town. That ended up being shopping at a mall where one of the
girls bought a jacket and then had buyers remorse and later took it
back. It was a real treat and a pleasure to get to see how people
lived in big cities. I was so nervous about loosing my way and not
getting to the concert, which was being held in a high school
auditorium, on time that I stopped at a few green lights and ran at
least one red. We got to the high school and it seemed we were a lot
less goth and lesbian than the typical Tori Amos fan and we looked a
little out of place. We found our seats which I traded with my friend
to get to sit next to the girl of my desire even though that meant
that he had to sit in the worst seat on the row. That is called
taking one for the team friend. The setting was very intimate and she
had a magnetic stage presence it is to this day one of the most
intense concerts I have ever been to including two more Tori Amos
concerts. She has an A Capella song called Me and A Gun
about her being raped when she was younger and during the number they
cleared off the stage except for a bar stool and they lit her with
one red light while she sung a powerfully tortured version of the
song that had every single person in the place silent and on the edge
of our seats.
The whole time the concert was going on I was trying to
decide weather or not to try and make a move for a hand hold or
something but I didn't ever try to make that leap. It was strange
because I had no trouble whatsoever just going for it with almost any
other girl but I was conflicted over my great desire for her and my
great desire not to mess it up. We bought some shirts and rode home
recounting how good each and every song was. I organized the drop off
to put my crushes house last and when we got there I talked with her
in the car for a very long time and said that I had I really good
time and I would like to go out with her more. She said she was
dating someone and I was probably not her type anyway that hurt my
feel-bads so I didn't ask what she meant. It turned out she was
talking about something my friend had told her about me when they
were hanging out. It happened to be true but painted me in a bad
light, which I think was his point.
