I have mentioned that my dad was a scuba diver and I became a scuba
diver when I was 12 and there is a lot of funny stuff that happened
with that but when I was too young to certify I wanted in on the
magic of the under water world and I knew how to do it. I knew that
under water what you needed was air and I was in my pre-knowing about
O2 -CO2 days and thought air was air was air. So my plan was simple I
would get some tape some straws and a few discarded yogurt containers
and hook them all together in a line and then when I went under the
water I could calmly sip air as I needed and refill the containers as
I exhaled. I had just cracked the age old problem of infinite
underwater air supply all with a few pieces of reused trash and a
dash of naivety. I have found that it is always easier to solve
problem before you are really aware of the scope of the problem. I
took my new invention and a pair of snorkeling goggles and headed up
to the reservoir to complete my victory over the watery realm. Justin
and I rode up on our bikes and I readied myself for a leisurely
afternoon of underwater exploration. I waded in up to my chest and
put my goggles on and assured Justin that I would only stay under for
a few minutes and then he could have his turn. I put the straw into
my mouth and pulled my goggles down over my eyes. I plunged under the
water and my brilliant contraption failed instantly coming apart into
all of its component parts and filling my lungs with a quart of
diseased Santaquin reservoir water. I was sputtering out water and
strangling as I struggled to my feet in the deep mud. Trying to keep
my head above water while Justin was yelling from shore wondering if
it was working or not. No, you dumb piece of crap, it is not working
- that is why I am dying. What does it look like, Idiot? I thought
those things in retrospect at the time I was trying not to drown.
When I finally struggled to shore I crawled up on the bank and
coughed uncontrollably for ten minutes. I was soaked through, muddy
and exhausted from my ordeal when Justin lamented the fact that I had
broken it before he even had a chance to try it. The lesson here is
that you should always take the first turn when testing a lethal
prototype because if you have seconds sometime the first guy will die
and you will never get a turn. I scrapped the scuba set and decided a
submarine was a more reasonable project for a couple of young men
wanting to explore the nautical depths.
