Cat Dying Revenge


I am not a cat person, that is not to say I am a dog person either, I am a animals-should-not-be-in-our-houses person and I don't like extra chores. For example,  I have a device, for the humans in my house, that whisks my excrement off and away and automatically refills itself for another use. With a cat you get all of the joy of picking through some stinky poop dirt and throwing it out by hand, like a gosh danged cave person. It is the future people, poop of any species should not be handled. Now, we don't have the jet packs we were promised, but dagnabit have we not progressed any further in our excrement disposal technology then letting a aloof feline poop in some nice smelling sand contained in Tupperware for us to clean up later. Imagine if one billionth of the time and effort that has been put into smart phone games, development and play time, had been put into poop management systems we would have real-time disposal and truly odorless cat-ladies. I have not digressed onto that little rant because I had never gress-ed and therefore could not have digressed. The gression that I was going to gress before I meandered over to the comically fruitful plain of feline feces and plucked some low hanging fruit was about a time that Justin and I saw a cat die from drinking anti-freeze. We were at his house after school and found his new mother cat in deep distress under the cab-over portion of a camper that was resting on the ground. She was breathing heavily and was meoweling horrifically in considerable pain. We tried to make her comfortable because even though we were not cat fans per se there is a need for even rough boys to save the day. After an hour of horrible suffering she aloof the sudden shot strait up ran in a circle horizontally and then ran in one vertically using the cab-over for her upper floor and a barrel for her vertical decent. She yowled one last pathetic time and was dead. After she died she threw up some antifreeze as her body convulsed. Now that we knew the cause of death there was only one logical explanation, a convoluted plot by the neighbor to kill the cat and make it look like an accident. They had a crazy old lady and her reclusive thirty something son living in a house across the road that was always hassling us and yelling about someone stealing stuff from her. Our logical assumption was that by no accident that old lady or her son had compelled the unfortunate tabby to drink the common, but poisonous, automotive fluid by subtle trickery and subterfuge. We snuck over to look for evidence, we didn't find any, that only meant we were dealing with one of those extra sneaky cat murderers that take pains to cover their tracks. We decided on planning a revenge suitably gruesome to adequately punish someone who would kill a cat with the cowards weapon of poison. We thought of lots of great and funny plans but ran out of time to exact sweet vengeance before it was time to go home for dinner, homework and bed. We planned for several more day but the pure white hot fury of seeing a murdered cat had cooled in our hearts and that combined with cowardice led us to abandon the execution portion of our retributive plans.