I always liked to give off the air of off handed savoir faire and
effortless bravery. This was to keep people from calling my bluff.
Most of the time it worked but on occasion the bluff was called with
cringe-worthy results. One of the most memorable and still
embarrassing to me was one day in the summer between seventh and
eighth grade my older sister and I and two of the more wild girls I
knew went out for the day looking for trouble at a few local houses
and haunts. We stopped at a house of one of my sister's friends and
sat around talking which turned into a game of truth or dare, as
these things sometimes will. Inevitably, as there where three girls
and one was my sister the dare turned to me kissing a girl. My heart
rate went up my chest tightened and my hands went sweaty. I had never
kissed a girl on the lips and I didn't know how and I was locked up.
Play it cool. I offered to kiss the girl but on the cheek. The damn
cheek. That is not debonair, that is not cool, that is sure as hell
not playing it cool and it still haunts me in quite moments of
introspection. I kissed her on the cheek and then it came around
again and cheek kissing was right out my sister said I had to kiss
the other girl on the mouth and I said fine but we were going in the
other room. We got up and walked into the bathroom and when we got in
I begged the girl, 'let's don't and say we did'. She said she wanted
to kiss me but I refused, she agreed to lie for me and we came out. I
am so lame. We went around mostly truth-ing from then on and then
wrapped it up and went home. They shared my chickening out when I was
not in tow and they had a good laugh about it. In my defense I did
later make out with both of those girls and got rave reviews on my
technique. I guess I just didn't want to ruin the experience for them
before I had a chance to perfect my style and moves. No, actually
that's a lie I am just a weenie. This is actually still very
embarrassing to me to admit so I was trying to save it but then I
felt guilty and repented myself of the lie.
