My brother Matt and I used to love Halloween because you were
basically encouraged to abuse other kids. We loved the pranks for the
pure joy of it and to impress and entertain each other and our
friends. One of our all time best moves was getting a big bag and
putting tricks and treats in it which would throw the kids off the
trail before we sprung the trap and saw the sadness on their faces.
For example a group of four kids may come to the door trick-or
treating and I would answer holding a big bag and ask the obligatory
“what are you all?” questions. Then I would give one kid a huge
handful of candy, the next kid a single candy, which if he complains
about gets that taken back. The third kid would get a huge carrot and
the fourth a frozen fish. The looks on their faces were priceless.
Another great trick was to give them treats inappropriate for the
situation. Most people agree that ice cream is a fine treat,
generally, but not when it is going in a plastic bag full of other
treats. It, in point of fact, makes quite a mess. So when kids would
come to the door I would would have a heaping scoop ready and out of
site to share with our costumed guests. Another great treat was a cup
of apple juice poured right into the bag, soupy goodness for the
whole night's candy. We lived in the middle of the block which made
it an intimidating journey to come all the way back to our house. We
rewarded those brave souls with some ambush scares which could and
sometimes did include a saw-less chainsaw wielding person coming out
from behind a shadowed tree. Good, clean, fun until you do not
notice that the little boy who you have just given a cup of cider to
lube up his haul and starts crying was accompanied that evening by a
rather burly looking father. That young man had it made up to him by
getting a generous helping of our candy when his dad asked what the
hell we thought he were doing. Nothing my fine sir, nothing at all.
