I need to get my stories strait, I left out another one that is
pretty telling about my character that happened the end of my junior
year. Luckily, this particular time machine is still revved up and
back works just as well as forward. When my fellow student council
hopefuls and I were supposed to put on an activity to show what kind
of organization we would run we made some critical errors in
judgment. Almost entirely at my urging we decided on having a three
headed bracketed tournament featuring rock-paper-scissors ( good
idea), leg wrestling (bad idea), and Mega-Q-tip-tilt-board jousting
(terrible idea). Rock paper scissors has the benefit of being quick,
universally understood, and non-violent. Double plus good. That
bracket went off without a hitch and had a popular kid and a nerd in
the final, just like a Disney movie. Like a Disney movie the nerd won
but in a shocking turn of events based on what those films taught us,
most people were unhappy that the scrappy come from behind nerd won.
I am starting to think that those movies may be less based on reality
then they claim. Leg wrestling was aborted early on because it is
violent and really depends on the contestants being more or less the
same size and gender. Almost no girls signed up and the ones that did
were quickly eliminated by the football players who were in no way
surprisingly dominate at a game that favored speed, strength and
athleticism. Some rivalry was ignited and the leg wrestles got more
intense then fun and refs were yelled at and we had to call it at an
eight-way draw. Balance board jousting was just a stupid idea from
the get go. I got the idea from American Gladiators.
 |
| Imagine this exact same thing without the hot chicks, the helmets, the knee pads, the referee, and the quality equipment. |
If you remember
though American gladiators had the contestants wear helmets, had well
padded sticks and had mature adults participating. Anyone reading
this who has had any experience with teenage boys can tell you what I
did wrong. I put weapons in the hands of psychopaths. The bracket
filled up quickly because there were weapons and hitting and that
appeals to a certain high school demographic. The sticks we provided
were broom handles tipped with tee-shirt globs taped on with duct
tape and we discovered in the very first round two things, we should
have done like the Gladiators had and put on helmets and that there
was no good way for the ref to stop the action because he had no
stick and was much less violent than the contestants. The first joust
pitted a kid who needed no excuse to be crazy against one with less
self-control then that and the contest turned into a bloody melee in
less then ten seconds. The rules were that both people were supposed
to stand on balance boards, hold their sticks with two hands and
pummel, the first one off lost and then they were both supposed to
quit. None of that happened. The first kid fell of before they
engaged and then he choked up his stick into a base ball grip and
swung as hard as he could at the other kid's head. Thankfully the
blow was checked and only caused a bloody nose and not a concussion.
The assaulted kid attacked back and battle was enjoined in earnest. I
was yelling at them to stop, that had exactly no effect and then I
tried to grab one of the sticks away and that was met with resistance
as well. Eventually the vice principal came and ordered the fight to
stop and that worked. He forbade the continuation of that contest and
I couldn't have been more happy to oblige him. The rest of the time
the rock-paper-scissors thing was going on people kept coming up and
asking where those sticks were because they wanted a whack. I told
them they were in heaven with all the pretty angels and left it at
that. I was embarrassed at how badly I had misjudged my activities
but as time would tell it was actually a pretty fair evaluation of
the type of leadership I would bring to the position until I was
kicked out.
