I Will Not Use Your Bullet Points Sir or Madam
Debate
was once again in full swing and I had spent most of the off season
scheming and fantasizing about debate. You want to know why? Because
I am a massive nerd, that is why. In debate you were expected to keep
notes on your opponents speeches and answer them back point for
point. I was not into that so I made a new kind of note paper that
reflected my disdain for their little point by point system. Instead
of writing down everything they said I wrote a big, almost invisible
ONE, TWO, and THREE with room a little line for their main point and
contention. When I started taking notes I would just write one or two
things about their first second and third point and then a note or
two about just how wrong they were and go to work on them when it was
my turn to speak. Almost every single round a kid, and by kid I mean
someone my same age, would get up and do their speech and then I
would get up and ask them questions with no good answers just to make
them look bad. Following the cross examination I would get up and
give my rebuttal to the nonsense they had proposed, which by the by I
would be defending myself the next round. They would try and follow
along where I countered their arguments but I had not written down
their arguments by number or referred back to them. This made them
think I was doing it wrong or that I was loosing the game. I was not
doing it wrong and they would soon see that they had fallen into a
trap. When they got up to cross examine my attack on their weak case
they would almost always say I had not countered any of their
arguments because I had not referred to them by number. I would then
offhandedly observe that I responded to all of their important points
I just wasn't going to teach them how to take notes. They would
sometimes get flustered and insist that I had lost the debate because
I had not answer their points by number designation. I would then
burn up the rest of their time by restating my rebuttal of each of
their points and then time would be called. All but the best debaters
were done there and would spend their next speech explaining how I
had not done my job by saying their numbering system back to them.
Like thin in the jargon, “Point 1A man is born free he didn't
answer that so flow that over to my side I win that point.” So on
and so forth till their time was up. I would get up and give a little
shuffle of my papers and then say my opponent must have confused the
persuasive style of Lincoln Douglas debate with the more analytically
rigid Cross-X style and that they had unfortunately not taken the
time to defend their case. I would restate all of the content and
counterarguments that I had provided and point out it was not my job
to tie my rebuttal to their arbitrary note system. The other guy or
gal had one last speech to try and save the deal but it was over.
Going into my third tournament of the year I had not lost a single
round. In the first two tournaments, for the sake of time, they had
not declared a single winner but usually four unbeaten kids would all
get first place. Then they had one that let us battle all the way to
the ground.