|Thou Shalt Not Steal You Dirty Hillbilly.|
For some insane reason I have forgotten to write about wood shop and drafting classes from junior high I guess I was just in a hurry to get to the next stuff and I overlooked some nice juicy low hanging fruit right over here. In 9th grade students could choose to take wood shop and I very much choose to do that. I love building things and using tools and to do both at school was a dream come true. We had a week of safety and operational instruction and my bit was getting pretty chomped by the time we were to pick our project for the semester. I chose an awesome looking plank chest that looked like it would be right at home in a pioneer home. I was skilled in project management and in the use of tools so I attacked the project with vigor. The job was supposed to take us all semester or about 24 hours to finish but this looked like about a two hour job to me. I worked at a pace that greatly concerned the shop teacher who was naturally concerned for my safety and his liability but I demonstrated my competence and his worries were assuaged. In the first day I had all of the planks cut. On the second I had them all dado-ed and the edges routed. On the third a curious thing had happened all of my ready for assembly boards were replaced with rough cut boards and this lurpy goof of a hillbilly named Zeek or Zane or some other insane Oaky name was much further along with his exact same project. I confronted him about the old switch-a-roo and he flatly denied touching my stuff. After that I started writing my name with a pencil on the work I had finished and started hatching a most nefarious plan. I had finished all of the body parts for a second time and got to work on the lid but I measured wrong on the two side piece of the lid but instead of throwing them away I left them out without my name on them with a virtual 'For Steal' sign on them as bait for that lumber thief ZeeBob. He took the bait and my gambit turned to end game as he started to cut planks to fit the erroneous side pieces. I waited for him to realize his error as I rebuilt mine to the correct specifications but he was in such a hurry he never checked his lid to the box. It just kept getting funnier as he raced to keep pace with me in a tacit competition. On the sixth day I was done letting the varnish on my lid and box dry and proceeded with assembly. ZeeDiddley was a day behind even with the stealing so I got to finish first. The next class period I had been assigned to help the other kids finish their projects when I took some time to watch Zibronee assemble his mismatched lid and box. They were off by a full three inches and he was dumbfounded about how he could have gotten it so wrong. The shop teacher asked him if he measured carefully and he claimed he had. That is when I took the opportunity to remind Zippy that in the future the best plan would be to do his own work and not steal mine because I had made some lid ends which were three inches short that someone had stolen from me so those must be the one he had. He again denied stealing anything but at that point a massively malformed box was all of the proof and apology I needed. Zane somehow found it in his malformed ethics justified to blame me for his thievery which resulted a mismatched lid because I didn't warn him it was a faulty piece he was stealing. I was not sorry.