That Girl Has a Nice Ratio


 In that same English class where I read every day there was a girl that I had not ever noticed before in the previous two years of going to school with her. I cannot fathom how I had over looked her because she had a superb ratio to all of her secondary sex characteristics. Maybe she had become more womanly over the summer or I had just never had a class with her but it was like she was a new girl who had suddenly become objectifiable. She sat two seats in front of me with only a rather soft and effeminate young man between us. He was either bedeviled with less testosterone or was just more classy but he derived no pleasure from watching her come or go. A couple of times he would catch me in a longer than polite glance and scold me. I worked out a transition to a seat without her guardian in the way and thought I would strike up a little chance to demonstrate my charm. I tried but she was absolutely uninterested. Excuse me young lady but did you notice how very clever I am? Well? Laugh, dangit, this is my only power of persuasion. She found me in no wise interesting and I started to notice she wasn't that cute after all. Some other guys were still susceptible to her prima facia charms but they were not privy to her dark secret – she had no sense of humor and she had terrible taste in me, I mean men. I abandoned the effort as unfruitful but I did eventually go on a date with her, I didn't take her but I was on a group date with my friend who had asked her out. In an assessment that I can honestly tell you is not tainted by sour grapes in the least - she was a bratty, boring and mean which by the end of the night had gotten on everyone nerves. I think we were all happy when she claimed she needed to be home early and we scrambled to oblige. It was a hard lesson for me, I had been betrayed by the deepest part of my brain that tells me to pursue a woman who is shaped a certain way while the top part of my brain was not impressed at all. I was somewhat disappointed to learn that I was unable to objectify women and that I was more attracted to intelligence and personality then hip-to-breast ratio. Stupid brain.