I Call An A-Kisser an A-Kiss and Almost Get Stomped

My dad liked to be in absolute control of his little kingdom and every night he would gather us up for some mandatory scripture reading. Sometimes it went peacefully other times one of us would balk and there would be a fight that lasted ten times longer than the reading would have. He didn't care what we were doing or if we were at a good stopping point and there was no set time for scripture time it was just two minutes after whenever the whim stuck him. One night I was in the middle of building something in my room when he hollered through the house that it was scripture time I told him to wait a minute and if horses were in need of holding then so be it. My metaphorical equestrian advice was not heeded and my dad said that if I didn't come in right away that I was going to loose all of my privileges ( that was his favorite catch all punishment). I dropped my project and sulked in and sat on the floor by the hall way. When I came into the living room Rob started in with a little Kiss-A speech about how it was my dad's house and I should just do what he says so that blah blah blah dah blah. I told him to shut his Kiss-A mouth and quit kissing my dad's 'A'. That was the last thing my dad was willing to hear that night and he shot out of his chair with preternatural speed for a guy his size and tried to stomp on me as I quickly crab crawled away and down the hall just ahead of his stomps. I scuttled just out of stomping range as he stomped hard from one foot to the next while punctuating his stomps with rhythmic cursing and oaths of destruction. He had tried to stomp me halfway down the hall way by the time my mom caught up to him and stopped him. He was still furious but he wouldn't dare to disobey my mom so he just told me I was grounded from everything and he sent me to my room. When I was in my in my room and the adrenaline of the situation was wearing off the whole situation stuck me as being really funny and I started laughing to myself. I was pretty mad at Rob for being such a brown noser and at my dad for defending him but I was over it soon and the grounding didn't stick. I didn't know until years later that all of my siblings thought that my dad had actually landed the stomps and that he had been crushing me. That would make the story better but luckily he missed.