Christy's boyfriend was smooth, really smooth. He knew what women
wanted and he gave it to her. One day while I was helping one of my
classmates with her report on something or another she joined us in
the computer loft to show us what a great thing she had gotten from
her boyfriend. She had a card that had a poem hand written inside
about how much he was thinking about her and the regular wooing stuff
and a short note that just said 'I love you, Happy Tuesday!'. You
know how you get smoother than that? You don't, because it is
impossible. A sweet note with tons of personal effort for no reason
but that it is Tuesday and you are thinking of someone. Shut up with
that Rico Suave stuff because that sets the bar way to flipping high
for the rest of us schlubs. The girl that I was helping with her
homework was floored with the sheer white hot power of the pure 200
proof cuteness of it. My sister and my potential love interest did a
little adolescent girl squealing and I sat back trying to figure out
how to rip this dude off without looking like I was ripping him off.
My chance was probably missed with this girl who knew this technique
already but I was storing up the data in my bag of tricks. In doing
my due diligence I actually asked my sister's boyfriend where he got
the poem and he said he was just reading a poetry book and thought
that this poem really summed up how he felt about my sister. What? It
was sincere? It wasn't a trick to get a little action? Just reading a
poetry book for fun? Who was this dude, and how can I pretend I have
the same type of motivations to simulate sincerity? I stole his
method outright and used and reused it at least twenty times though
the rest of high school and college all I would change was the day in
question and the poem as needed. Pure unadulterated gold.
