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| Have fun dragging all that delicious food down into your hole, sucker. |
I've never been very good at budgeting or keeping my
money where it's supposed to be, I think it started at a very young
age when we were going out of Florida, My dad had a certain amount of
money for each of us to use on the trip he had this in his keeping so
it would not be lost. We started out with 40$ apiece and we were
allowed to access that money whenever we wanted and I wanted it at
every gas station and vending machine exactly in the order that they
came into my line of sight. Every time my dad would say to me, ' this
is your money and you are free to spend it but when it is gone it is
gone and you will miss out on better things.” Yep, yup, uh-huh –
if you are done I would like to purchase this delicious thing that I
impulsively desire. My brother and sisters would save up and watch me
eat my bag of Skittles and say they were planning on getting
something cool from Disney Land or Sea World. I told them, like the
wise old grasshopper from that old story that now was the time to
play. Like the stupid ants from that same story they kept restraining
themselves and storing away their resources for the winter. Suckers.
Well, about the time we hit Georgia my glucose bender had wiped out
my forty small, and I was starting to think that Aesop may have
intended the fable so as to cast the grasshopper's lack of
forethought as some sort of cautionary tale. I wasn't too worried
because we arrived in Florida the next day and if there is one thing
southerners know how to do that is provide food to visitors. I said
yes to some Pee-Can Pah, and other delightful caloric enticements.
The crushing reality of my plight never sunk in until we were in the
parking lot of Disney world in Orlando and my brother and sisters
were being handed their money and I was not. I threw myself on the
mercy of the court, I cried, I pouted, I begged and my dad had the
nerve to remind me that I had knowingly chose my fate. Yeah-buts fell
on deaf ears. I had to go and enjoy Disney World stone cold flat out
broke. It was okay as long as we were on rides but at lunch when I
had to eat a cold bologna sandwich while my siblings luxuriated in
the fried goodness of a corn dog I felt as if my plight was more then
I could bear. Then came the unkindest cut of all souvenirs. I had to
avert my tear filled eyes. Did this teach me a valuable lesson? I
don't think so.
