I Hide The Evidence


Yes Mother, Yes Mother, Four bags full.

I mentioned before that we had a rotation of chores growing up that we would have to do for a week and then switch. Many of our time sensitive and special priority requests to my parents, in stead of being answered was simply thrown back in our face with a silly question like, 'Are your chores done?'
Seems simple but there was a barb in there, it was a trick question! Whatever you said they would shoot back with, 'Well, there is your answer.' Tricky right? It almost made it seem like that if you were not allowed to go sleepover at your friends house that it was somehow a reflection on how you discharged your duties. Rude. One day I had a huge pile of laundry to do and some friends who were heading right out and I knew if I asked I would be tripped up on the no chores equals no play shenanigans my mom loved to pull. I devised a plan that would have me out the door in no time flat, I got four big garbage bags and filled them to bursting with the huge pile of clothes that was there for the sorting. I went out back and opened up a hole in the skirting around the trailer and stuffed the bags in. My plan was to go and play and then come home fetch out the bags and do the thing right. I went and asked my mom if I could go and as was her wont she asked about the laundry I told her I had it taken care of, which you liars and English majors will have noticed is not a lie. She had the temerity to come and check, as if there was reason to doubt my profession of dutiful service; the nerve. I was nervous and she was actually a little surprised to find the laundry was indeed no longer in the laundry room and assuming, like most sane people would, that the only thing someone would do with approximately four huge bags worth of clean laundry would be to sort, fold, and put it away she let me go. I had a good time came home late and forgot about the laundry for several weeks. Then when everyone was missing quite a few clothes and no one could figure out how roughly the amount of clothing that could roughly fill four large trash bags could just go missing it dawned on me that I could be the culprit. I went and snuck the bags that had stayed mostly clean under the house and brought them back inside to be rewashed and then my sister would have to sort and fold them because that was her job, and one must do their job.