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| My line in the sand. |
My
dad was naturally in charge of taking care of the toilet facilities
so being the cry baby that he is he had all kinds of rules to make
his life less miserable. The camper was equipped with a chemical
toilet that held a few gallons of excreta and a blue fluid that did
something magical to the poop juice. It had to be taken out and
emptied about once a day as my dad had two tanks on the truck and
would only stop for fuel if it was absolutely necessary. That meant
there was lots of pit stops taken on the fly in the back by the kids.
He did ask the we kept the number two saved up as much as possible to
be deposited at a KOA or a gas station if possible, emergencies
excepted. He also demanded that everyone sat down to tinkle which as
an manly man of eight I took as a deeply personal insult. I had been
equipped from the factory to urinate standing up and it was like
spitting in god's face in disrespect for that magnificent bestowal to
condescend to pee sitting down, even if it was in a moving vehicle.
Everyday when my dad had to come in a pick up the toilet he would see
that some mysterious sprinkle sprite had left pee splatters on the
seat, and handle, and wall, and floor, and quite irrationally blame
me for the mess. I would assure him that while there was definitely
urine on the every-damn-thing that I was confident of my aim and it
must have been him or my brother, then six, that had done it. I even
once suggested it may had been a particularly rambunctious female who
could be guilty. He wasn't in the mood to listen to calm logic and
was cranky about having to dump out containers of suage without
having the outside coved in it as well and said he would unleash the
angels of death, hell and destruction on my bottom if the pee ever
found itself on the wrong, specifically out, side of
the toilet. I still never sat down to pee but I would swab the decks
with a little toilet paper after I was forced off my mark by forces
beyond my control. A man has to hold on to his dignity in whatever
way he can Viktor
Frankl
did it by remaining true to his core beliefs in a concentration camp
and I did it by peeing on the seat.
