My older sister was hands down cooler than me. She knew about what
clothes were cool, she knew about what stuff was coo and was not
cool, she knew what type of music was good and bad. Most importantly
she would tell me all the time that I was not cool and to leave her
and her friends alone. I wanted so badly to be liked or loved that it
broke my heart that she didn't want anything to do with me unless I
was part of her scheme to get something else. I was always trying to
do things to suck up and try and ingratiate myself into her circle of
affection. It didn't work. One time in particular I wanted to do
something nice for her so I went in her non-shared room, she was the
only one at this time that had one, and cleaned it up for her put all
of her clothes away and sorted all of her stuff into shelves. That
might have been okay if I would have stopped but she had a hope chest
at the foot of her bed that was cram-packed with letters and papers
and all kinds of stuff in a jumble vomiting out the top. I decided to
take everything out and organize it. As a ten-year-old I actually did
not know what I was organizing but as a newly minted woman my sister
had some sensitive hygiene products stashed in that box and was
horrified when she got home to see that I had been going through her
stuff and had seen her pads. I had no idea why she was so mad but she
threw me right out and yelled at me never to go through her private
stuff again and then she was crying and slammed the door and told me
she hated me. I started crying and went to my room, I was out six
hours of cleaning and the whole plan backfired. My mom came and tried
to explain to me that my sister had personal and sensitive items in
her room and was embarrassed by me going through her stuff. I tried
to explain that I wasn't going through her stuff and I had no idea
what I was going through any way. My explanation was no good and my
sister was in a snit for a week.
