Peeing the Bed. Getting on the Heating Vent.

The recipe is simple, pee on the blanket, then cover the heat vent and let the goodness percolate.

I peed the bed until I was about nine years old. That was the source of quite a bit of embarrassment and shame. I think that my parents were not too  excited about it either because they yelled at me, reasoned with me and plead with me about it a lot. I ruined sheets and mattresses and I also had the rather unpleasant habit of taking my pee soaked blanket and body, which was cold from being wet all night, would go turn up the furnace and make a little urine themed warming tent over the top of a heating vent. 

Some houses wake up to the smell of coffee wafting in the air. Not us. My family was privileged to wake up many mornings to the olfactory symphony which was the Eau de Nate. My dad banned any thermostat tampering and threatened me with certain death should I ever hot box the house with my urine again. I am not the kind of guy to cave in to the demands of terrorists, I am much, much, too passive aggressive for that. The pee tenting continued until my mom decided it had gone on too long and she spent a night pee training.