Menacing the Babysitter with a Butcher Knife

Abandon hope all ye who babysit here.

My parents went out on many trips and dates and left us with various babysitters. Not always, but many times, this went horribly wrong. The problem was my siblings and I having of an overdeveloped sense of independence and justice. Your standard babysitter was just not equipped for the lunatic shenanigans or the level of violence to which we were willing to escalate a situation.

One memorable altercation involved a replacement babysitter and a butcher knife. We had already been babysat several times by a neighbor girl whom we liked, but one night she couldn't make it so she sent her little brother instead. He thought he was king-boss-of-the-world and slapped my brother in the head when he disobeyed. My brother informed him that for his crimes he was going to die and ran to the kitchen to get a butcher knife.

The boy chased him down the hall trying to stop him but Matt won the race to the kitchen. Matt brandished the knife and the boy was standing behind the short wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. The kid was yelling for Matt to put down the knife but Matt was hearing none of it and jumped up on the counter to come and get the boy. It was then the ersatz babysitter made a terrible tactical decision and ran behind the wood stove and into a corner.

Matt, Christy and I thought it was hilarious to keep him trapped behind the stove by menacing him with the knife from the left and then the right. We laughed as he alternated between threats and pleas trying to get us to put down the knife. We chased him back and forth keeping him behind the stove with only the chimney for protection for at least an hour.

Like many good things, this one came to an end when my parents came home and were livid. They didn't even care about our side of the story, they paid him extra, apologized to him and his parents, and spanked us all quite a bit.